Saturday, May 14, 2005

Sadness Ensues

It is official. I am not going to Vegas.
Heavy, heavy sigh.

I signed on here with the intention of not letting that affect my blogging today, but there is no way around it. Everyone hates a bad beat tale - but I am going to write mine anyways. The only difference is, it isn't about a poker hand.

The reality of this is weighing so heavily on me that I feel unmotivated and uninspired to even play a round of poker online. I want to act like a little kid, falling to the ground kicking and screaming, throwing the biggest tantrum of my life.

But I can't of course.

Strangely, a movie quote keeps entering my mind about this. In Men in Black, Wil Smith says to Tommy Lee Jones, "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all". Tommy Lee Jones turns to him and replies "Try it".
That is precisely how I feel. I know I am going to get comments or emails from people consoling me about how "there will be other tournaments" and "this isn't really a big deal", etc. Try it. Try being the one who isn't going. It sucks.

However, as much as I could whine about it, my glass is half-full after all, and I can (somewhat unfortunately) see the bright side in all of this. These are the reasons I wanted to go in the first place:

- Meeting everyone in general and seeing who they are in real life, as opposed to just an image on a computer screen.

- Finding out the truth about Iggy - is he a suburban housewife? Is he a dwarf? Does he look like Partick Swayze? Does he repeatedly utter the words "Oh the humanity" in person too? Well - I know the answer to one of these for sure, but since no one is going to throw me a bone on his true identity, I am not going to help anyone else either ;)

- Partying with Pauly. I have a list of "Ten things I have to do before I die" and that is right up there near the top of the list. I can see the damage, the wreckage, the complete destruction of Vegas were he and I to tear up the town at the same time. For this reason alone it is probably good that I am not going while all the other bloggers are there. Too many witnesses.

- And then there is Al. Being inducted as a member of the ACHE is one thing, but even drinking a single shot of Soco with the Master of all things Alcohol is enough reason to make the trip.

- Though the thought of being tied to BG's shower rod is disturbing yet somewhat intriguing at the same time, I know that I would be the last one to leave the party, not the most likely to pass out at 9 - so it would never happen.

- I could go on and on about each individual person who will be attending, but I will leave it with a simple statement - I want to meet each and every one of you.

- I want to play in a live poker tournament, in Vegas, at the Aladdin, with all the bloggers

- I want to rail the WSOP event and cheer on our peers that are playing. I want to be swilling drinks and watch in person as the media has a heyday reporting about the group of bloggers sweating the event.

- I simply want to be in Vegas again. My home away from home. Absorbing the sights, the smells, the atmosphere that you can find nowhere else on Earth.

Before I listed all these things, I said that there was a bright side. That is simply - I have hundreds of reasons to want to go, and they are all due to the people I have 'met' over the past year. That is reason to be thankful, not sad. I am happy that this upsets me so much, because otherwise I would have to question my reasons for being a part of all of this in the first place.

You people have touched my life, each in your own way, and for that I am grateful. Just promise me that you don't take this event for granted. In thirty years you will be able to look back at this time in your life and be grateful that you were a part of it. Though I will have to live vicariously through you on this event, I WILL be at the next one, and I am certain that the write-ups, the pictures, and the reports on this will be so amazing that I will be able to remember this myself in thirty years as though I was there.

There. That is enough sentimental crap for one day. On to other things.

BG's most recent post asked the question - What is your secret shame?

Though I wouldn't go so far as to say these are necessarily "secret" or "shameful", I have more than a handful of weird quirks, and for lack of anything better to blog about, I thought I would share.

1.) I am a list junkie. It is impossible for me to start any task without first making a list. I don't necessarily feel the need to complete everything on the list, but I have to make one. Yes, I even made one for this.

2.) It is shameful indeed that I can't say anything without ending it in "eh"

3.) Secret crush Hollywood edition - Christopher Meloni, Timothy Hutton, Steven Tyler, Ewan McGregor and Bo Bice. Not a big fan of the pretty boys.

4.) I am a video game (Playstation) junkie. If I start a game, I have to play it until it is completed - this has taken up to a week before.

5.) All of my favorite teams are from Michigan. I will let you decide for yourself if that is shameful.

6.) I too love all the hair bands of the 80's.

7.) I am a 'Friends' addict. I own the DVD's and watch them repeatedly. I even own the board game and can kick anyone's ass playing it.

8.) I have played cornhole before. My best friend actually owns a "cornhole" set - though I didn't know that is what it was called until recently.

9.) I spend approximately 100 hours a week online.

10.) When I watch Jack Nicholson in 'As Good as it Gets' I am sadly reminded of myself. I avoid cracks in the pavement, I lock my door three times and check it at least 3 more times before I go to sleep, everything I arrange has to be symmetrical or it drives me nuts. Unfortunately, the only compulsion I don't have is to keep my house spotless. I hate cleaning.

That is enough for one Saturday. I hope everyone has a good weekend!