Tuesday, August 09, 2005

88 Lines about 44 Women

Ok - maybe it is just 88 lines about me.
Or - maybe it is just 88 lines of confessions from me.
Either way - this is all about me.

1. I honestly believe that yelling at my computer screen affects the outcome of the cards that fall on the flop, turn, and river
2. I am selfish as all hell - though I don't always appear that way
3. Sadly I love cigarettes more than just about anything in the world
4. When I sit at a poker table, I honestly do believe that I am the best player at that table. The day I stop believing that is the day I quit playing.
5. I derive sinful pleasure from check-raising when I have the nuts
6. I would rather win a pot with the hammer than with any other hand
7. My greatest gift in poker is patience, my worst flaw is undervaluing my hands
8. My favorite job ever was working as a bartender. I would do it again for minimum wage without tips if I had to
9. Women in general piss me off with their "girly" ways. However, when I find women that I respect and like, I will go out of my way to be in their company
10. I like cards, beer, golf, fishing, baseball and football more than most things in life.
11. I like being alone way more than I should
12. I like cats and dogs equally, and will spend hours trying to convince people that I need to adopt every stray I find - though I never actually do
13. I do not goo and gush at the sight of a baby
14. I believe in the power of meditation
15. Though I am from Canada, if you ask me the temperature I will probably tell you in degrees F
16. I probably use the words 'eh' and 'dude' more than any other word in the english language
17. I hate brandy. I used to hate scotch, but have since acquired a taste for it and would drink it any day of the week
18. I love beer. Any kind of beer
19. There are approximately 2000 people in this world who know me only by the nickname "Bobo". It is a really long, boring story why
20. I did not listen to any kind of heavy metal in the 80's, though I really like it now
21. I used to ride a skateboard, and lived for quarter and half pipes
22. The longest crush I ever had was for a guy named Rob Oliver. I have no idea where he is now, and don't really want to know
23. I love cooking, and will spend seventeen hours straight making a meal if I have to
24. Money is not the reason I do things, yet I do dream of being a millionaire
25. I have never dated anyone based on what they looked like
26. If I go to a bar, the last thing I want to do is dance
27. I can not sing. At all. Don't ask me to, cause I won't
28. I do, however, love singing when I am alone
29. If I had to pick one famous man to be my 'ideal' - it would be John Corbett
30. There are times in my life when I feel completely and utterly lost, and others when I feel invincible
31. Sappy commercials make me cry. So do game shows
32. I am a contradiction of terms, and I am ok with that
33. I always had short hair as a kid, and I now refuse to cut it. I also refuse to cut my daughters hair and cried the only time I ever did.
34. I think you learn more about people when they are drunk than when they are sober
35. I am left-handed, so chances are I will die 4 years before most of you
36. I play hockey, golf, and baseball with both hands though
37. All my favorite teams are from Michigan. I have said that before, but it bears repeating
38. My favorite foods are chicken wings, ribs, cedar-smoked salmon, and rare steak
39. I could never be a vegetarian - though I agree with the principles
40. If I could live anywhere, it would be Vegas. I am sure I would be sick of it within 2 months, but I am willing to risk that
41. I have never been off this continent
42. If I could travel anywhere in the world - it would be Italy. No question
43. I willingly studied Latin. And Russian.
44. My favorite wine is a Chateauneuf De Pape, and it is not that expensive
45. I love champagne, but am not that impressed with Dom Perignon
46. I have no desire to travel to England, but would still go if presented with the opportunity
47. I like to stay up as late as humanly possible every night, yet I love being up in the morning. I have no use for afternoons
48. I am fairly independent and will fix and build things myself, but I firmly believe in the mantra: car broke, man fix
49. The thought of working in another cubicle terrifies me, but every now and then I miss it
50. At age 15 I knew who I was. At 20 I had no idea. At 25 I knew again, but I am once again trying to figure it out
51. I don't understand sibling rivalry. My brother and I have always been great friends
52. My best friend and I have been friends for 26 years. I consider that one of my greatest accomplishments
53. I am still trying to figure out how to make money doing the things I love
54. Though I don't necessarily love working, I can't seem to ever stop
55. I like cleaning, but hate clutter. Unfortunately, my house if very cluttered
56. I think Corner Gas is the best show to hit tv in decades
57. I watch very little tv, but love movies
58. I can answer most questions about celebrities, but it is not because I really care, I just read a lot
59. I can achieve a zen state of mind by folding hand after hand in poker
60. In a bar, I am most comfortable working, but if I were to go to one, you will usually find me sitting at the end of the bar talking to the bartender
61. I am the most competitive person I know. By far.
62. I wish I was independently wealthy enough to just travel for a few years - I don't even really care where
63. I paint, sketch, and draw, but very rarely get around to any of it
64. When I was little, my grandma used to make homemade ice cream. It was so delicious that I have never been able to eat commercial ice cream and enjoy it since
65. I will buy anything that smells like coconut or pineapple
66. When I was 13, I got busted for stealing $40 worth of stickers (scratch 'n sniff, etc.) from a drug store
67. The only magazine I buy on a regular basis is Maxim
68. I don't like censoring myself, but there are things that I just wont let myself write about online
69. I do not have a favorite color. I like them all
70. The only music I won't listen to is techno
71. I love playstation and other video games. I wont touch them for years, but when I do, I play for days
72. I worked in a pool hall when I was 16/17, and seriously considered making a living outta playing pool
73. I am only 5'4", and have never wanted to be taller
74. I wouldn't know a Manolo Blahnik if it speared me in the head with it's pointy little heel, but I own about 17 pairs of sandals
75. I cant stand having anything on my feet
76. I hate chocolate
77. I am addicted to Degrassi, the Next Generation
78. I am very proud that my daughter knows what the Hammer is, and knows how to play it
79. I hate starting sentences with the word "I", so writing this list is driving me nuts
80. I have never watched an episode of Sex & The City, nor do I ever want to
81. I hate it when people complain about the radio. It is free, and you have the option of changing the station or turning it off
82. As a single parent working full time plus every Fri and Sat night in the bar for a decade, I refused to serve women who used the excuse that they couldn't afford to tip because they were single parents
83. I am not tough, but I have forcibly removed men from the bar when they pissed me off enough
84. My favorite soup is chicken gumbo, but I make outstanding beef barley and split pea too.
85. You guys make fun of the way we talk, but I can't stand to hear the word roof pronounced "ruff"
86. There is only one beer that I won't drink, and it is called Maibock. I have a bottle in my fridge that will be there until the end of time
87. I drank enough Sambuca in my twenties to choke a small horse. The smell of it makes me nauseous now
88. My favorite quote from a movie is "Sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here"