Are you ready to go?

"So are you all ready for your trip?"
- my Mom, this morning

"Mom, I have 48 hours until I board my plane. Of course I am NOT ready."
- me

Alright, so I am a wee bit of a procrastinator. And by a wee bit, I mean I am the queen of all things that can be put off until later. I don't do it on purpose, really, it is just the way my mind works. Maybe I am missing a chip or something, but I know no other way. I start something, then realize there are 500 other things that need doing, and by the time I get back to my original project, three moon phases have passed and I am left wondering how I never finished it in the first place. Confused? Welcome to my world.

The one good thing about being a professional procrastinator is that you never actually worry about getting everything done. You know you will, in your own time. It is just everyone else that begins to panic on your behalf - all those people who pre-plan their life and complete tasks in an orderly fashion don't understand how you can leave everything to the last minute and still get it all done.

MY panic starts when I actually have everything completed and find myself with nothing to do. Think I am joking? I'm not. Honestly, that thought fills me with terror. It's like in Vegas this weekend, Kat and I are sharing a room. If her and I are both getting ready to go out, there is no possible way that I could finish up before her and sit calmly and wait. I would begin to obsess. Checking my hair every few minutes. Pacing the room. Walking out to the balcony and back inside, over and over. Chain smoke. (Ok, to be fair, I will be chain-smoking anyways in the land-of-ashtrays-everywhere) but you get my point.

If I were packed and ready to go right now, that suitcase would get unpacked and repacked 17 times between now and then. I would begin to worry that I forgot something. I would start adding unnecessary items to the bag. Basically, I would be going nuts. So why do it?

That said, it is not my intention to laze about all day and slack off all night and hope that everything magically finds its way into my suitcase sometime late tomorrow evening. Actually, I have been progressing quite nicely with my list of things to do before leaving town. Almost too nicely, in fact, which is why I thought I better slow things down a little and write a post here, lest I somehow complete too many things early.

So, I bet you are wondering how I am going to turn this into a poker post. Actually, everything I just wrote IS the reason why I love poker. I see the game a lot different than most people I have talked to, or rather, my mind just works in a different way. I'm not saying that is for better or worse, it just is what it is.

I don't get a rush from playing cards. I don't really experience that high that others describe from winning or losing. It doesn't get my adreneline pumping. I long ago stopped getting excited about good hands or disappointed by bad beats.

Actually, poker has the exact opposite effect on me. I can still still for hours, patiently waiting for a good hand. I don't get stressed. I don't get impatient. Being short-stacked doesn't bother me, etc. The fact is, I am still doing something that is unfinished, and I could wait for the right play for days if I had to. I suppose it is because I feel busy, so my inner A.D.D. actually gets to take some time off and lounge by the pool. Playing poker is one of the few times in my life when I actually feel that sense of calm.

Anyways, I will see you all on teh girly chat tonight as I count down the last few hours before take-off, and I may even play a little bit of poker - ya never know.

Just please don't ask me if I am all packed and ready to go.