Friday, October 22, 2004

I am a Hoar

I never knew until yesterday that I was a hoar.
It was posted to me during an online game, so it must be true.

What is a hoar you may ask? Ahhhh....same question I deliberated for countless minutes yesterday.

After taking a rather bad beat, my opponent decided that he needed to vent a little frustration my way. He berated me for winning a hand that consisted of my pocket queens (raised, then re-raised pre-flop by his A-7 off) and a flop of A, Q, 7. Played out to the river, and no other cards of significance showing, I obviously emerged the winner of the hand.

Now, I can understand that any beat can be tough. However this particular opponent had more chips than I did, and we were playing for low limits. All in all he probably only lost about $6.00 on the hand. Nothing to write home about as a victory for me, and certainly nothing to get too upset with on his end. (Serves him right for his A-rag, if you ask me.)

However, he couldn’t seem to let this hand go. Fifteen minutes later he was still going on and on about it. I usually (poorly) attempt to keep my mouth shut, but he was amusing me with his rants and raves, so I suppose I was provoking him a little. He came out with the ever-so-vicious taunt: “You are a Hoar!”

This one actually made me stop and think. If he was deliberately trying to get me to turn my attention away from my game, he succeeded. Hoar. Hmmm. Better consult Mr. Webster before I decide if I should feel complimented or insulted. With a “brb” on my game, this is what I found out: (my comments are in parenthesis)


1. White, or grayish white; as, hoar frost; hoar cliffs. (well, I am blond…but I am certainly not grey)
2. Gray or white with age; hoary. (Hoary…lol…I just love that word)
Old trees with trunks all hoar. --Byron. (Hmmm….does the thought of me invoke visions of trees with trunks all hoar?)
3. Musty; moldy; stale. [Obs.] --Shak. (Ok, ok, I have been sitting at my computer for about 13 hours, I suppose I could get up and open a window to let some air in here.)

\Hoar\, n. Hoariness; antiquity. [R.]Covered with the awful hoar of innumerable ages. --Burke. (
This is my favorite of the bunch. Really, really makes me want to go shower. Now!)

Ok, so it is probably now safe to assume that he didn’t actually mean “hoar”. So he misspelled whatever he was trying to say to me. The obvious, whore, of course entered my mind. I just didn’t have enough faith that he could misspell it to that extreme. So what does that leave us? Hmmm… Boar? Do I somehow represent an uncastrated male pig? Some wild swine with a narrow body and prominent tusks? I am guessing no. (I am hoping no.)

Alas, I returned to my table, but the accuser in question had already made his exit. Leaving the question unanswered for all eternity, I proceeded to make my way back into the game, trying once again to regain focus on the cards. What was dealt to me again? Pocket Queens.

Or, should I say, Pocket Hoars?